Despite these statistics and the fact that it should be a non-issue that I’m also Autumn’s mom, we still get a lot of questions and judgment. Parts 2&3 of … You know what should start being the norm? Dealing with all the rude looks and disrespectful comments used to bother me a bit. lgbt parenting Catholic School Refuses To Enroll Same-Sex Couple's Child, Upsetting Other Parents Kansas parents ask why this didn't happen to those who divorced and remarried or otherwise fall short of Catholic doctrine. We were holding hands, as we usually do, and a Walmart employee (in uniform!) Current Issues. People judge others based on literally everything. Delving further back, too, and around the world, we find many parents under the queer umbrella—from the poet Sappho in 600 BCE to writers Oscar Wilde and Vita Sackville-West, comedian Jackie “Moms” Mabley, poet Lord Byron, and jazz musician Billy … We also need more studies that look at queer parenting history through the lens of particular racial, ethnic, and religious backgrounds. Family separation can be an extremely difficult time for both parents and children. APA resolutions and information regarding LGBT issues such as sexual orientation and marriage, child custody or placement, transgender issues, gender identity and gender expression nondiscrimination, amicus briefs and lesbian and gay parenting. Her simple response made my heart SO happy because it made me realize she doesn’t feel like she’s missing out on anything by having 2 moms. We are loving each other, in a very healthy and beautiful way, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Bibliography on LGBT Parenting Issues (1983-2009) Brooks, D., & Goldberg, S. (2001). To your child coming out, these common LGBT family issues can strengthen any family. Concern that children are negatively impacted by having gay parents has been prominent recently. There are also people who have been accepting of us from the very beginning. Lexie’s entire family was very welcoming of me and our relationship. And it caused us to lose our relationships with some of my family members for several months. This weeks topic I am blogging about is LGBT parenting! We are offering video therapy to all current and new clients. To see your daughter confused by a name she doesn’t know you by is completely gut-wrenching. You might not know how to deal with this. Kids of gay parents fare worse, study finds, but research draws fire from experts. I’ve never been one to hide who I am to please others, so if I’m out with my wife, and I want to hold her hand, I’m going to hold her hand. Don’t make comments to a child like, “Your family isn’t normal” or “Why don’t you have a dad?” or “Why don’t you have a mom?” It’s not my daughter’s fault she has 2 moms, however much she loves it. Transitioning the LGBTQ Parenting Network website out of being an active standalone web property and integrating some of its content and resources into the RHO website where appropriate: This will keep relevant content still accessible and better integrate Sherbourne’s LGBT2SQ parenting information with other LGBT2SQ content and resources produced by Sherbourne and its programs. So please don’t choose to complicate the life or family views of a child. My wife and I  have been together for 2 ½ years. She loves spending time with her family, whether it be taking a hike outdoors or having a movie night. Recently, a couple of younger kids were playing with our daughter, and they told her she was supposed to have a mom and a dad. […] Gay fathers are no different from heterosexual fathers in their ability to parent and to foster the healthy development of their children, Children with lesbian mothers are equal in their emotional and behavioral adjustment to their counterparts raised by heterosexual mothers. And I refuse to hide her 2 moms, or my intense love for my wife. we do pre-school activities with her regularly; she is taught to respect her parents and everyone she comes in contact with; as a family, we spend a lot of time together–hiking, biking, going to the zoo. This site contains affiliate links, meaning that we earn a small commission for purchases made through our site. As you form your family you must be able to work through these issues. You can’t control other people’s thoughts and opinions, you can only try to educate them. If for some reason you can’t accept gay people, do not take it out on their children. We only recommend products we personally use, love, or have thoroughly vetted. What about religion? Unfortunately, your child may grow up more likely to develop depression or anxiety than some of their peers, but it's not because of your parenting if this happens. Here’s the thing. Children of same-sex couples were no more likely to have same-sex attractions than children of heterosexual couples. I will attempt to return your message within 24-48 hours. There are so many gay and lesbian couples who are interested in important social institutions like foster care, and who want to raise children who need loving families. 1. Many people see things wrong with our family. Children come to LGBT families in a variety of ways. Visit our disclaimer page for more information. Bibliography developed by: Gerald P. Mallon (February 2010) . We could use more healthy, beautiful love in it. This makes me so happy because we’re in a world where people think we shouldn’t be raising a child because we’re gay. Overall same-sex parents must be able to answer openly and honestly. LGBT Parenting. Issues that I see families deal with is navigating what coming out means to the family and building a comfortable level of talking openly about your teenager’s sexuality. Click below to a list of resources that can be helpful. When you’re dealing with hate and disrespect from other people, lean on your spouse, never pull away from them. For instance, once Lexie and I took Autumn to the doctor. We went to visit her family out of state a month or two after we started dating. We've made great progress in protecting the relationships of LGBT parents and their children. Luckly there are loads of resouces for the formation of LGBT families. From starting a family to raising a child. Eventually, my mom began to realize that I, too, was Autumn’s mom, and the issues with most of my family have been resolved. Autumn started calling me Mom a few weeks after my wife and I started dating, all on her own, and that’s what she’s been calling me ever since. Families are families. All other responses are answered by Richer Life Counseling Staff. Starting a family is one of the biggest life decision that you can make. A man, a woman, and a child does not make a family. Posted in In the Media, lgbt custody, LGBT Legal Cases, LGBT parenting issues, Marriage. It may be your clothes, hair, friends. My wife, Lexie, and I have had people stare at just us or make rude comments to us because we’re gay. Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University in Massachusetts, spoke about the benefits of gay parenting mentioning: “Gay parents tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average because they chose to be parents” Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals. Read what professional organizations say about LGBTQ parenting: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (1999) The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry approved the following statement in support of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer parenting in 2009: From adoption, sperm donation, to surrogacy. We’re gay; we’re racially blended; we are parenting a child who is not biologically related to me. Sexuality doesn’t influence how you parent. Don’t take it out on children. Make sure that you answer some common questions before you start your family. If you are dealing with you child coming out, or you’re a same-sex couple starting a family I would suggest to seek out a therapist who can help you. We encourage anyone to seek help from a qualified medical professional where issues deem it necessary. Bookasession@Richerlifecounseling.com There are claims that homosexuality is a mental illness. Both of her mommas take great care of her and love her more than anything in the world, so she’s happy. Check out my list by clicking here for books on this topic if your belief system appears to be in conflict with homosexuality. Today I am going to share some common LGBT issues for families. Many people have had issues with the fact that even though I am not biologically related to Autumn, I consider myself her second mother (more on this later). You, as an adult, know that there is no “normal” in today’s world and that should be okay. However, when it’s my family, it’s a huge deal. There are common issues that all same-sex familiy deal with. Being happy. Children & LGBT Parenting Issues. Let your child know that even though your family might not look like most other families out there, you’re still a family. Katy Huie Harrison, PhD, is an author, mom, recurrent miscarriage survivor, & owner of Undefining Motherhood. 3.You are a FAMILY. By dispelling the myths and focusing on what really matters, gay and lesbian adoptive families can receive the support they need to thrive, both during the adoption process and after. Her father is barely a part of her life, by his own choices, so I am her second parent. LGBT couples must take extra spaces in starting a family. And I’m sick of it. Or maybe it’s still an issue but now people are a little more accepting. [6] [7] They may have a variety of reasons for raising children in a mixed-orientation marriage , including everything from discrimination and wishful thinking to real affection, sexual love, [8] desire for family, [9] and spiritual reasons. We are who we are. In this article, Hilary tells us important stories about queer parenting and raising a daughter with 2 moms. How/why do these 2 white females have a mixed child with them? Join our curious, caring, and open-minded community of 1 million. By Karri Bertrand on December 14, 2020. In my series on common issues facing the LGBT community I have written on individual issues, and couple issues. In other words, evidence from social science shows that children of same sex couples have no problem with child development. I think each type of question can be answered in a different blog post. Laws covering parenting can be contradictory around the country, especially with adoptions. You can check out my resouce page that list lots of book that can help. |TheRicher Marriage Show. They also see a mixed little girl with these 2 white females (“Poor kid,” they might think to themselves). She knows that most kids have a mom and a dad, not 2 mommas. That children of same-sex couples show normal gender identity development and gender role behavior. This can often be exacerbated following the breakdown of a gay or lesbian relationship given there will inevitably be LGBT parenting issues surrounding the biological relationship to the child. Even some of my family have had a very difficult accepting us as a nuclear family. Call: (702) 518-1546 Despite anyone’s personal beliefs, I think we can agree on one thing: this world is full of too much hate. However, I know in the future, she’s going to ask why some people do this, or why we have strained relationships with some of my family members. We only recommend products we personally use, Get exclusive community updates in your inbox by joining our newsletter:Â, Trying to conceiveInfertilityMiscarriageBirth & stillbirthInfant lossPregnancy, PostpartumParentingWomens healthLifestyleBook recommendationsGift guides. I don’t hate people who say rude things to us. And when she does, I plan on being 100% honest with her that there is still an unnecessary stigma against LGBT parents. Richer Life Counseling – (I am only focusing on Christianity in this blog post due to the dominance of Christianity within the United States). Not to co-opt another movement that’s happening right now, but time’s up. Parenting Rights & Custody Issues for LGBT Parents If you are an LGBT individual or couple interested in adding to your family through adoption or assisted reproduction, we can help you understand your rights and guide you through the appropriate process. Main findings from the report include: An estimated 37% of LGBT-identified adults have had a child at some time in their lives. I am a white female, and so is my wife. Due to the increased risk of harm experienced, children of LGBT parents and LGBT students can also experience increased levels of stress, anxiety, and self-esteem issues. This website contains medical information. Love does. Why not redefining?”“Because motherhood is a role that’s been defined for far too many centuries,” I say. There have been books that share how to parent an LGBT child. LGBT parenting issues. Don’t be so closed-minded that you can’t accept other people. What will you both feel most comfortable with in starting a family? Raising an LGBT teen is no different than raising a heterosexual child. However, this website is not intended to replace medical care or treat any conditions. I had an argument with my mom and aunt because they wouldn’t accept that I’m Autumn’s mom along with her biological mother, Lexie. Family rejection leads to poor self-esteem, increased risk of suicide, drug use. Bullied children are more likely to develop depression and anxiety issues later on (as are LGBT-identifying youth), and they report feeling more lonely or unhappy. If someone disrespects my family, will I defend the people I love? There are also people who tell us how great we’re doing raising Autumn. However, if you think that, I’m here to tell you, you’re wrong. But when you ask her about it, she says she loves having 2 moms and that it’s pretty cool. But providing support isn't always easy — especially if you are the parent of a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning (LGBTQ) child. The staff asked us which one of us was her mother. Her goal is to shift the paradigm about what it means to be a woman and mother, giving all women a greater sense of agency over their own lives. (No big deal, we understand that this is the norm for most kids). My aunt tried to tell me that she wasn’t my daughter because legally she didn’t belong to me. While this video makes light of some common questions that outsiders might ask. That is not what my role is. Talking with a therapist can help you think of questions you might not have thought of, and help you figure out the best way to start a family. We are treated differently as a result. But in my opinion, your sexuality has nothing to do with how well you parent your child. LGBT parenting issues. Subscribe to LGBT parenting issues. 2. Gay parenting couples: Parenting arrangements, arrangement satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction. 1. Disclaimer / Privacy / Undefining Motherhood © 2020 All Rights ReservedÂ, Stigma Leads to LGBT Parenting Issues: Hilary’s Story of Raising a Daughter with 2 Moms, 22 Push Present Ideas for a New Mom from Husband, Guide to Induction at 37 Weeks: Everything You Need to Know, The Softest Postpartum Pajamas for New Mamas, You Get a Lot of Weird Questions When Queer Parenting, “I Have Two Mommas; I Don’t Need A Dad”, Your Sexuality Has Nothing to do with How You Parent, Grief, Makeup, and Eyebrows: How I Found a Connection to my Mother in Quarantine, Your Guide to Toddler Birthday Party Etiquette, 5 Ways Busy Moms Can Make (And Keep!) In this article, Hilary tells us important stories about queer parenting and raising a daughter with 2 moms. We have listed some of the key topics below for you to read through. They still have the same struggles of learning how to from their own identity. They still have the same struggles of learning how to from their own identity. She also provides the best LGBTQ parenting resource: experience-based advice. You can be 100% accepting of your child and still be a Christian. It was late, so there weren’t many customers. There are loads of questions that will get asked from outside the family. They have had difficulty accepting us because of how we look and how our family was formed. what about discipline? Whether a child is brought into a same-sex-parent household by adoption or assisted reproduction, their parents may face questions and concerns from those who are unaware of the truth behind LGBT parenting — that is, the fact that there are no major differences or negative effects that occur from same-sex couples raising children. But guess what? Skin to Skin for Newborn Babies: Just How Beneficial Is It? It’s time to learn to do this authentically, not according to prescription. Marriage Equality Prevails: Indiana May Not Discriminate Against Same-Sex Spouses. When strangers make rude comments about us, it isn’t such a big deal. It's critical to address a few issues and concerns -- both founded and unfounded -- unique to gay and lesbian adoptive parents so that social workers can examine their own personal biases to make informed decisions. We are two people who fell in love with each other and are raising an amazing child. She also provides the best LGBTQ parenting resource: experience-based advice. And the most recent batch of research about LGBT parenting, mostly coming out of the University of Kentucky, continues to … Who is going to stay at home (if anyone)? Voices of Children Report 3240 kb | pdf. However, I’ve learned to combat the hate with love. We have a mixed child (African American/Caucasian). Dept of Justice – Guide To Legal Issues In Relation To Surrogacy 54 kb | pdf. All rights reserved. But I’ll always highlight these points most: Her momma and I aren’t doing anything wrong. The list is endless. However, no one treated me differently or disrespectfully. You might have found love letters or something in a journal that suggest that they are identifying as LGBT. My mother refused to call me “mom” in front of Autumn and would simply call me by my nickname, “Hil.” The sad part about this is that this precious baby didn’t know who “Hil” was, and she was so confused. If you know which therapist you would like to have respond to your information please choose from this list. It’s time to put that knowledge into action.”“It’s perfect,” she replied. My wife has been my rock through all of the struggles with my family not accepting me, and I probably wouldn’t have made it through that without her. LGBT parenting refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people raising one or more children as parents or foster care parents. 2. 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